


there's a hole in the earth

by iwrotestuff



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, weird format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-12
Updated: 2013-03-12
Packaged: 2017-12-05 03:23:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/718304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwrotestuff/pseuds/iwrotestuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kink meme fill:<br/>http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/5821.html?thread=12769469#t12769469</p><p>Bilbo has had enough of Thorin's treatment of him and takes drastic measures to unsure his place in Thorin's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	there's a hole in the earth

**Author's Note:**

> Fixed some errors that I found.

 

He watched them eat and joke around and not once did they invite him to join.

Thorin sat in the middle of their campfire and when his eyes met Bilbo's, the dwarf glared at him with disapproval over something pointless and while the others had looked at Bilbo with sympathy, no one did anything. They never did.

Despite his best efforts, as much as Bofur reassured him that he did belong, that he was part of the company, he knew that he wasn't and would never truly be part of this company. But the worst was their leader.

Bilbo had tried so hard to get Thorin to treat him like he treated the rest of the company, the soft smiles he would give Fili and Kili sometimes when he thought no one was looking, that radiating love Thorin shined with when he spoke of his lost home.

_I want you to look at me like that. I'll do anything._

-

And then later when they were separated in the goblin caves, and Bilbo survived because of his wit instead of brute force, and he ran out after the company wanting to tell them what happened, how he had beaten that creature-

“He is long gone.”

The smile on his face froze, his hands shook with an emotion he could not name but an urge to... to

_This hurts so much..._

**it doesn't have to**

His smile was loop sided and his eyes watered but nothing fell, and with pure will his tears disappeared and he took the ring off even though everything in him screamed no-

_It's hard, why is this so hard_

-and walked towards Thorin.

-

The orcs came after them on wargs and chase them up trees, his eyes searched for Thorin on reflex and Bilbo hated himself for it but not as much as he hated Thorin-

_no no I don't Thorin please I'll do anything just please love me_

**hate is easier**

The pale orc came forward, his eyes mocking and heated with playful cruelty as he gazed at Thorin and that foolish dwarf got up and walked towards his own death.

**let him burn, he hurt you now he will pay**

_no no no Thorin I love you please don't-_

How he managed to pull himself up and run towards Thorin and Azog as they battled, Bilbo was not sure but there was no way he would let the dwarf die, even if Thorin truly hated him, it didn't matter-

_but it does! Please love me, don't hate me please don't hate me I_

_want_ **to watch** _him_ **die**

He jumped right in front of Thorin as Azog's mace came down, Bilbo blocked it with his letter opener of a sword and the force pushed him back stumbling, he was most likely to die now but if he saved Thorin, that was okay.

“You foolish halfling!” Thorin's voice was full of anger, Bilbo felt his heart stop.

_No no no no no Thorin please-_

_i_ _ha_ **te yo** _u_

“I don't need the help of a worthless halfling, this is MY battle!”

Bilbo did not turn around, nor did he move. He stared ahead with blazing eyes and felt the anger coursing through his veins like he never felt before.

_I hat **e you**._

-

Never had he seen something as beautiful as the hafling standing before him. That look of pure rage in those eyes was exquisite in its rarity, the way those blue eyes were over taken by black anger and that empty small smile that was frozen on his small, soft face...

Azog wanted him. He wanted him more than Thorin Oakenshield's life.

-

Time stood still for longer than Thorin could think possible. No one moved, not his company, not the orcs still surrounding them, not Azog who kept looking at Bilbo-

And Bilbo. That stupid, brave little hobbit who would risk his life for Thorin without any regard for his own life-

“ _Akashuga..._ ”

Thorin looked up at Azog who spoke and was ready to stand up and attack, but then he noticed that the orc was not speaking to Thorin... but to Bilbo. Thorin's blood ran cold.

_“Zam mokun tor...”_

-

 _“Such beautiful hatred...”_ Azog cooed at him, and Bilbo should be alarmed for being able to understand black speech, but he really wasn't and he couldn't understand why.

**he can see your worth halfling he can see the purity in your rage**

_“Come... and I will feed your need for the dwarf's blood”_

The smirk on Azog's face was terrifying and cold, but also full of promise as the pale orc extended his hand towards the hobbit. For a brief moment, Bilbo's face fell and a look of terror took over, but it disappeared just as quickly as it came, replaced by the same empty smile as before.

He reached for Azog's hand.

 _promise me_  
-

Bilbo could feel the stares of his former company on him, questioning everything that was happening, and Bilbo could not make himself look at them, he couldn't bear to see the betrayed stares-

**they betrayed you first!  
the dwarf king torn pieces of your soul and they just watched-**

“Why?” Bilbo looked at Thorin whose stare was misty with tears and that burned _but he hurt me and hurt me and never cared before so don't fucking look at me like i'm the one who's hurting you and i'm so sorry thorin please help me-_

“You dare to ask me why?” the halfling's voice came out dull and dead, much like he had been feeling inside his heart since the moment he set eyes on Thorin Oakenshield. Bilbo sat up straighter, a cold, empty smirk taking over. “Worthless halfing.”

Thorin's face drained of color, his mouth opened and closed uselessly. “B-Bilbo... I-I didn't..”

That quiver to his lip, the glaze over his eyes, the shaking of his limbs...

It was better than Bilbo had ever imagined.

___**beautiful** _ _ _

__-_ _

Their halfling left with Azog the Defiler without another word , leaving them with Thorin just sitting there staring at nothing. They all tried so hard to make him snap out of it, but their king just sat there in his misery and self hatred for the rest of the day, that is until suddenly the tears finally came, not stopping until their leader cried himself to sleep.  
-

Azog took Bilbo to his bedroom that night.

He knew that the halfling loved Thorin, and that this... this wasn't something that really belonged to him, but he was a great leader to his army, and nothing had ever been denied to him. The little one did no love Azog, but that suited him just fine, for all he wanted was to see that rage and betrayal in his eyes, and that lust for the blood of the one he hated.

The hobbit smiled at him as they undressed, a look of mild adoration on his face.

“I do not love you.” The halfling spoke softly, gently as he pushed the pale orc to lay down.

___“I know this. It does not matter, for I do not love you either. But your pain... your hatred is what I want, for as long as you let me share that with you, I will stay by your side, my beautiful halfling.”_ _ _

Bilbo smiled bright and true.

“You can give me what I want. This is why I came with you. Give me what I want.”

__**what we both want** _ _

___“What we both want.”_ _ _

Azog brought his hands up Bilbo's back, nails digging into his skin and leaving fine lines of red on peach colored skin. Large hands roamed everywhere, pinching the small, soft pudginess of the hobbit, but not minding it one bit. Bilbo thought he should be embarrassed for his rounder form in comparison to Azog's impressive physique but he could feel how much Azog wanted him, and even if he didn't, why should Bilbo care?

Both of them moaned when the pale orc was finally inside the hobbit, the difference in size adding to their pleasure _painthishurts_.The smaller of the two could feel warm liquid running down his thighs and the drops of crimson on the sheets, but didn't care, because this pain _hurts hurts hurts_ was nothing compared to the hurt in his heart, the physical pain was nothing-

___thorin wouldn't hurt me like this_ **_but he has already he's hurt me hurt me hurt me hurt me hurt us hurt us_ ** _  
**HE WILL PAY** _

_-_

After they manage to get rid of Smaug and gain their lost treasure back, Thorin still does not snap out of his heartbreak over Bilbo. Even when they had found the Arkenstone and their king held it with care and wonder, his eyes suddenly glazed over and snarled, throwing the rock across the room because it wasn't him and nothing would ever be as important or valuable.

All of them recognized the symptoms, they had seen in on other's of their kind, had seen it in their own reflections sometimes. It was a natural thing for dwarves and it could rarely be avoided, but to happen like this, and not over gold was unheard of. But maybe it did make sense. Their burglar...they missed him so much and their regret was great, if there was any way for them to take back all of his pain they would do it, would take any torture because they deserved it.  He had been their friend but to Thorin, he had been so much more.

They knew, but lived in nervous denial that the misty gaze in their king's eyes was not just a reflection of a lost love, or a simple longing for the one who held his heart.

It was goldlust.

_-_

When they marched into battle, Bilbo did not care if Azog lived or died. For his usefulness in making sure Thorin fell this day-

__i'll be lost without you_ _

-he truly had no other desire for the pale orc beyond that. Oh that orc thought that he had snared the little hobbit under his control, had perhaps, fallen in love with him and all that he felt for Thorin was now hate and that ever present longing to see his blood spilled at his feet.

Azog was a fool to think that he was the one in control.

Still, he would miss him, Bilbo supposed, not out of love or even a strange and twisted form of friendship, but because of his over eagerness to please the halfling, thinking that it would erase Thorin from Bilbo's heart. It was cute. For an orc.

__Pathetic pathetic_ **pathetic** _**lets watch them all burn!!** _ _

_-_

The smile that stretched across the hobbit's lips, as Azog's lifeless eyes stared up at him, was stunning in its madness.

If anyone had seen it, they would have been horrified.

**poor poor orc lord so sad**

_truly sad but_  
I  
    don't  
              caaarrreee

_-_

Their eyes met in the middle of a bloody battle. Men, elves, and dwarves everywhere; torn, disemboweled bodies all around, blood coating every inch of ground

__so very very pretty but it would be_ **_better if it was HIS blood I want it I want it whereeee iiisss heee-_ ** _

And then there he was. They stared at each other for a few moments before that insane look of possessiveness took over Thorin's face and Bilbo's eyes morphed between love and hate, lust and disgust.

“My halfling...”

“Now I'm yours? Why would you want a weakling like me? You hated me-”

“Never!” Thorin stepped closer, gripping small shoulders with a gentleness that surprised Bilbo. “I never... I was a fool to... to treat you like that just because I was frightened of the way I felt about you. But not anymore.” he finished with a gentle smile, or it would have been gentle if not for the insane gleam in his eyes. Bilbo had never seen his king look like that.

_he's so beautiful_

**no no no he is lying don't fucking listen to him you pathetic halfling listen to me**

“How can I believe you... after what you've done to me... you've hurt me and shunned me and... ** _hurt me so much you fucking bastard how am I supposed to believe you've changed. We don't believe you, so stop interfering!”_**

Thorin only smiled at Bilbo's screaming.

“Let me show you.”

They tore at each other's clothing right in the middle of the battle field, not caring about the death surrounding them or if others could see but if they tried to stop them...

**_I WILL KILL THEM_ **

**he hurt you why are you doing this**

**_I love him I love him I hate him I hate him_ **

Hands ran softly against each other, ignoring the screams of others as they laid dying or begging for help. When Thorin slipped inside Bilbo with a gentleness that almost brought tears to his eyes, everything stopped and the voice in his head stopped talking, Bilbo could finally think clearly enough to realize that this was a bad place for this, but the feel of Thorin deep inside his body, gentle and nothing like Azog.

_I was right, he wouldn't hurt me like that_

The fog of the goldlust cleared enough for Thorin to stop himself from crushing the hobbit's hips in a tight and painful grasp, wanting to make this good for Bilbo and show him that he did love him, wanted to prove that without a shadow of a doubt. That this wasn't just lust gone out of control, and if he could have just one more chance, even if he did not deserve it-

They loved each other softly and lovingly, both painfully aware that this could not go on. They could not go on like this, both of them so far gone and lost in their craziness, it was impossible to come back. Bilbo mourned the hobbit that he used to be, maybe a bit sheltered but so consumed by a simple love that went out of control. And Thorin mourned for blowing his chance at having the greatest treasure in this world, but taking small comfort that at least for one moment, that treasure had been his.

They stayed on the ground half dressed as the screams continued all around them, and it occurred to Thorin that his company would be trying to find him, to protect him like they always seemed to do, but not this time. Although young, Fili and Kili were much better fitted to rule, and he had no doubts in his mind that together, the two brothers would be fine so there was no need to worry about leaving Erebor. His company... his friends, they would take care of everything.

Bilbo wished that he could have gone back to the Shire just one more time. The thought of beautiful rolling hills, and the coziness of his home, the memories of his mother and father were greatly missed but there was no other way anymore, not out of this.

Thorin could feel the destructive possessiveness taking hold of him once more, Bilbo could hear the voice coming back, and then there was no more time.

-

When the others finally find them, Bilbo is on top of Thorin, Orcrist wedged into his back going through the both of them, the sea of blood under them is big and their skin is is bright white in contrast against the red under them.

Both of them have smiles on their faces.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried something with the format but I'm not so sure it worked like I wanted so please let me know if this is alright. It was more of an experiment.


End file.
